|
|
Post by Leviathan on Jul 10, 2004 2:30:29 GMT -5
Post any jokes here!
|
|
|
|
Post by Leviathan on Jul 10, 2004 2:42:09 GMT -5
A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time for dinner. After dinner, his girlfriend and her mother left the room to do the dishes, leaving him with the father and the dog Duke, who was sitting underneath the boy's chair. Unfortunately, it was a large dinner and he really had to fart. He stealthily let out a quiet, but audible, fart.
"Duke!" the dad yelled.
"This is great!" the boy thought. "He thinks the dog is farting!" So he let out another one.
"Duke!" the father barked. The boy thought he was homefree so he let everything out at once in a really loud and smelly fart.
"Duke! Get out of there before the boy shits on you!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Leviathan on Jul 10, 2004 2:43:44 GMT -5
A little boy and his dad were walking down the street whan they saw two dogs having sex. The little boy asks his father “Daddy, what are they doing?” The father says, “Making a puppy.” So they walk on and go home.
A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The little boy says, “Daddy, what are you doing?” The father replies, “Making a baby.” The little boy says, “Well, flip her around! I'd rather have a puppy instead!”
|
|
|
|
Post by Leviathan on Jul 10, 2004 2:48:16 GMT -5
There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him.
''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ''did Santa bring it to you?''
''Yep,'' the little boy said, ''he sure did!''
The cop looked at the bike and while handing the boy a $20 ticket he said, ''Next year, tell Santa to put a license plate on the back of it.''
To go along with the cop, the little boy said, ''Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yes, He sure did,'' said the cop.
The little boy looked up at the cop and said, ''Next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse instead of on top.''
|
|
|
|
Post by Leviathan on Jul 10, 2004 2:49:09 GMT -5
Q: What do you call 32 Rednecks in one room?
A: A full set of teeth.
|
|
|
|
Post by Leviathan on Jul 10, 2004 2:54:30 GMT -5
A teacher was having a tasting day where she would put candy in the kids' mouth and they would guess what it was. She went to the first little boy and put a Hershey's Kiss in his mouth.
"Can you guess what it is?"
"I don't know," said the boy.
"I'll give you a hint. It's something your daddy asks your mommy for every morning."
The girl next to the boy says "Don't eat it. It's a piece of ass."
|
|
|
|
Post by Leviathan on Jul 10, 2004 2:55:46 GMT -5
One day there were two boys playing by a stream when they saw a woman bathing naked. All of a sudden one of the boys took off running. The other boy took off after his friend. After he caught up to him, he asked why he ran away.
"Well," the boy said, "my mom told me that if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard so I ran."
|
|
|
|
Post by Leviathan on Jul 10, 2004 2:59:11 GMT -5
Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days 61 days!"
The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"
One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-6- years!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Leviathan on Jul 10, 2004 3:01:25 GMT -5
A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.
The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said she was.
A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"
The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"
"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Leviathan on Jul 10, 2004 3:06:21 GMT -5
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.
|
|
|
|
Post by Leviathan on Jul 10, 2004 3:16:38 GMT -5
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was chained to a bumper
|
|
|
|
Post by nåve on Jul 15, 2004 21:12:22 GMT -5
Bravo!
Baby jokes are what will keep this messageboard together.
We all like them.
|
|
|
|
Post by Grathen on Jul 15, 2004 21:16:53 GMT -5
That's true...
|
|
|
|
Post by nåve on Jul 16, 2004 2:45:04 GMT -5
Want to know what else is true?
I made my Winamp on my computer sound like a loud car system. The bass drowns out the rest of the music and it has shitty speakers.
Sublime is sick, though. So is Transplants.
|
|
|
|
Post by nåve on Jul 16, 2004 2:48:54 GMT -5
Whoa check this out, Grathen. Remember when you went on that long spree of making messageboards? 666.proboards.com has been hacked by a clan... That was your messageboard, wasn't it? Ah ha ha ha.... |
|
